Anniversary

This is the anniversary of my last night as a woman with no children. My first daughter was born at 3am today 3 years ago. By now I had been moved from the birthing centre to the labour ward and they had called the Obstetrician to give me drugs to increase my contractions. How do I feel when I think about it now? I feel calm, contemplative, a little mournful when I think of the freedom I had from responsibility but no regret. My life since the birth of R has been so full of love I don't know how I could regret becoming a mother. I used to get bored, now I don't. My children have made me work very hard but it has been interesting, profound, exciting and ridiculous. The only painkillers I had during either labour were local anaesthetic and Entonox and I don't regret having felt the pain of childbirth and then meeting my children for the first time was an experience that I can't describe, the closest I can get is overwhelming familiarity. I am going to miss that feeling for the rest of my life. I never realised that my daughter's birthdays would be such a special occasion for me.